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Warning: This column contains spoilers (and is that really my problem?) – The London Free Press

Posted: December 28, 2019 at 4:48 pm

Darth Vader in a scene from The Empire Strikes Back. Associated Press File Photo

In an era when it feels as though every studio release is destined to become a billion-dollar blockbuster, its a question that wont go away.

How soon is too soon to spoil a movie?

One week, one month, six months, a year how long should we wait to give other fans a chance to see a motion picture like Rise of Skywalker, the Star Wars movie that debuted on Dec. 19? How long until we can safely assume that any big plot twists from Episode IX have become common knowledge, so we can post about them on social media?

Do ordinary people and media outlets have an obligation to preserve the surprise for moviegoers who havent had a chance to see the new Star Wars flick? Is a spoiler warning all thats required? Or is it up to the individual to go on a media diet in order to make sure they remain ignorant before they see the film?

Many of us have stories from when we were kids waiting to see 1980s Empire Strikes Back and that one doofus who walked out of the theatre announcing very loudly, in front of the long line of people who were waiting to see the first Star Wars sequel, I cant believe Darth Vader is Lukes father!

Nor do these questions apply only to Star Wars. In 1999, it was considered bad form to say out loud when you guessed Bruce Willis was dead in The Sixth Sense.

I posted a spoiler a few months ago about the Orson Welles cinema classic Citizen Kane on a friends Facebook page Rosebuds the sled! and she immediately took the post down for fear it would spoil the movie for her other online friends. Citizen Kane came out 78 years ago.

London graphic novelist and Tingfest founder Diana Tamblyns answer is that its never appropriate to spoil a movie for someone.

I dont think its ever OK for someone to spoil a movie for someone else. I always ask the group Im talking to if theyve seen the movie in question. If most people havent, I shut up, if someone hasnt, I tell them to leave the room or put their hands over their ears! Tamblyn said.

I will frequently put my hands over my ears and say La, la, la I havent seen this movie, stop talking! so someone doesnt spoil something for me, she added.

Freelance theatre critic Jay Menard has a different take. He doesnt appreciate people who are militant about not spoiling movies he believes people should be considerate, but has no rule about waiting a certain amount of time.

We used to be able to gather with friends and share our feelings, experiences, and thoughts about events we enjoyed whether it was live TV or major events, he said. Now, with the rise of convenience culture, where people PVR content, or wait until they can torrent it, now society is expected to wait until people have been able to consume media at their convenience? That seems selfish.

Tamblyn goes out of her way to avoid spoilers.

I actively try to avoid any articles, reviews, interviews, etc., on any movies Im really excited about prior to viewing. I will save these articles and put them aside, then after seeing the film, Ill read them all, she said. I dont like other peoples opinions colouring my thoughts on a movie. As much as possible, I like to keep it fresh for myself.

This includes trailers: If I know Im going to see a movie, I dont need to see a trailer for it. These days they give away big plot points in the trailer and it takes away from the surprise and joy of seeing them in the film. What Hollywood says in response is that people want to know what theyre getting into before they see a film, hence trailer overexposure.

If you choose or are unable to enjoy something, then its your responsibility to avoid the societal constructs wherein spoilers may appear. Until such time as you choose to view it, Menard said. Again, its about choice. And not selfishly preventing (or worse, chastising) others who want to share an important event with friends and community. There is no burden of responsibility on people who have made an effort to enjoy an event as an appointment.

In other words, its up to the individual. If you want to remain ignorant, there are ways to do so. If you have to go on a media diet to preserve your own viewing pleasure, then thats up to you, not the rest of us, so Menard sets no time limits: You should be courteous, but you should also be allowed to share and talk about your experience. Thats part of the fun and its equally abhorrent for others to take that away just because theyve been unable to participate.

When it comes to spoiling, I am more of the Menard school of thought if you dont want to learn anything about a movie like Rise of Skywalker before you see it,what are you doing online? You will inevitably come across spoilers. Theres only one way to protect yourself.

If you value surprise, dont make any visits to cyberspace. Come to think of it, why are you reading this column?

danbrown@postmedia.com

Twitter.com/DanatLFPress

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Warning: This column contains spoilers (and is that really my problem?) - The London Free Press

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Director Kevin Smith on heart attacks, happiness, extreme weight loss and Weinstein – The Guardian

Posted: November 18, 2019 at 10:49 am

In February last year, Kevin Smith performed 90 minutes of standup for a TV special, padded back to the green room and started to worry that the joint he had smoked before the show was too strong. He was sweaty and nauseous, which was not entirely out of the ordinary. But after he lay down on the tile floor and vomited, he was rushed to hospital, where a doctor broke the news that Smith was having a massive heart attack.

Smith stayed calm. Honestly, he tells me, as we talk at his Hollywood Hills home, he was still stoned. On learning that he might die, he says: I was like: Im going to make peace with this right away. You did way more than you ever set out to do, you got to do some cool shit, and if its done, its done.

For 25 years, Smith, a director and actor as well as a comedian, has grappled with his own dumb luck. In 1994, his debut film, Clerks, a raunchy comedy about the convenience store where he worked, was a hit with Sundance audiences charmed by Smiths on-screen appearance, as a slacker known as Silent Bob, and his behind-the-scenes stories of selling cigarettes during the day and shooting the movie at night. Made for just $25,575, Clerks was funded by credit cards and favours from friends, some of whom even had parts in the film: Brian OHalloran, for instance, plays Dante Hicks and delivers the catchphrase, Im not even supposed to be here today! and Smiths middle-school chum Jason Mewes, who agreed to play Jay, the talkative half of Jay and Silent Bob (Smith), two friendly morons with flashes of brilliance. Harvey Weinsteins Miramax bought Clerks and, as its publicists had done with Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez, turned the filthy-mouthed former altar boy, the 24-year-old son of a New Jersey postal worker, into a star.

Ive been living on that one trick for a long time, admits Smith. Like, come on, that movie was cute but 25 years on the back of one black-and-white movie? Lighting a branded Jay & Silent Bob joint with his face on the packaging, he describes that Sundance wunderkind as if he were someone else.

I love that guy. I dont understand why he had the confidence. I think he was undereducated. I was never ambitious. I think that was a fluke.

A fluke that became the cornerstone of his future, of his gorgeous three-story house decorated with memories: a table-top football game inspired by the roof hockey in Clerks, iron fireplace statues of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in Dogma, a walrus ceramic that nods to his screwball gothic Tusk, crayon sketches, movie posters and souvenirs from the live stage monologues in which Smith extemporises on everything from phone chats with Bruce Willis to his dogs genitalia. (He has sold out Carnegie Hall.) The upstairs living room is dominated by a collage celebrating his 20-year marriage to Jennifer Schwalbach. Squint, and you can find his first email to his future bride: Youd be surprised how many Schwalbachs there are in the phonebook

The house is a me-seum that highlights the accomplishments of Kevin Smith, he jokes. When he looks around, he is reminded of everything he did that he never expected to do. Thats why, when I almost dropped dead, I was OK with it, he says. Most days Im like: Oh, I probably did die on the table and this is heaven.

Back to that operating room. The doctor asked if the Smiths had a history of heart disease? No, replied Smith. Only that his father died of a massive heart attack and that his mother, who is still alive, had stents inserted in her arteries after her heart stopped for a full minute, during which she claims to have seen his deceased dad and grandmother. She was probably pumped on fentanyl when she saw heaven, Smith chuckles, so I dont know if I want to invest in that.

I was a fat kid, he continues. At 14, he joined Weight Watchers, but felt awkward being the only teenage boy and left after a month. As the third child of parents who were strapped for money and time, the only health food he saw was tinned spinach. Thats why I dont like vegetables.

When he earned money to buy his own snacks, he devoured low-fat cookies not realising they were packed with sugar. Oh, I fell for it all, he says. The biggest hurdle, however, was mental. Over the years, he had embraced his weight, turning fat jokes from a problem to a comedic purpose. The key early on was realising if I make fun of myself for this, then somebody else cant. One day you think: I could be funny for a living.

He marketed himself as a character the happy schlub in a hockey jersey and literally became a cartoon, as Clerks went from indie movie to comic book to sequels to animated series. Success, Smith notes, gave him an extra padding of protection.

For years, people were just like: Hey, big guy! And I was like, I am the big guy, arent I? says Smith. Nobody ever says: Hey, fat-ass!

At his heaviest, Smith, who is 5ft 9in, weighed 23st 8lb (150kg). About a decade ago he was escorted off a plane for being unable to squeeze into one seat. The story made headlines around the world, and internet trolls were merciless. For the first time, Smith felt naked. Suddenly, I was like: They know Im fat I thought I was hiding it!

For a while, he swaggered through his insecurities, titling that years live show Too Fat for 40, then launching the podcast Fat Man on Batman and publishing a memoir called Tough Sh*t: Life Advice from a Fat, Lazy Slob Who Did Good. But he also quit sugar, an experience he likens to withdrawing from heroin.

Finally, the craving for desserts stopped and 5st melted away. An hour before his heart attack, Smith had been boasting on stage about dropping five underwear sizes from 5XL to XL.

I would have thought I was in pretty decent shape that night, he says. But now its weird to look at me and go: Jesus, did I know I was that unhealthy? Or did I just not care?

Since then, he has lost almost another 6st by going vegan, at the insistence of his 20-year-old daughter, Harley Quinn. Most days, he fasts until noon, then grabs vegan nachos from his favourite fast food joint. He has stocked a two-foot-wide snack bowl with crunchy chickpeas and vegetable puffs in case he gets the munchies. Treats galore! he grins.

Now his wedding ring wobbles when Smith waves his hands.. The first time he realised he was too skinny for the Big and Tall clothing store, he nearly cried. His purple sports coat droops on his shoulders, but he worries that if he has it taken in to fit his new frame, he will jinx himself and regain the weight he has lost. Part of him still cant help crediting luck over effort. He did, however, give away all his signature hockey jerseys. I started looking weird in them, says Smith. Although, he adds: People were like: You looked weird the whole time.

This year has been surreal. Smith posed for a photo shoot for Mens Health magazine. Somebody told me online: Youre like a Walmart Robert Downey Jr, says Smith. Ill take that! A website stole his picture to hawk diet pills.

Last month, he and Mewes were invited to put their handprints in the cement outside the legendary Graumans Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard. Smith brought his fathers ashes to the ceremony. Four decades ago, on a family vacation, his dad had offhandedly told him he might be here some day. Now he was. Smith ground an urn print into the wet pavement.

In his new film, Jay & Silent Bob Reboot, Jay and Silent Bob are still where he left them in 2006s Clerks 2, loitering outside the Quick Stop, although the video rental shop next to the Quick Stop has been supplanted by a Redbox kiosk. The world has moved on, says Smith. As for Jay and Silent Bob, now visibly in their 40s, they are out-of-touch apolitical white males. We needed to introduce them to this is woke culture.

Smith chose the one-year anniversary of his heart attack for his first day of filming. Its not macabre, he chuckles, Its a fuck you to death! The movie finds the pair trekking, again, from New Jersey to California to fight for the film rights for their fictional likenesses Bluntman and Chronic, as they did in 2001s Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.

The script is a greatest hits of inside jokes. Smith settled on calling it a reboot, which one character explains, is when they take a flick you loved as a kid and add youth and diversity to it. That is exactly what Smith has done, recasting the film with a pro-LGBTQ anti-Nazi and hiring Harley Quinn to play the leader of a pack of rebellious vegan girls.

This is the most bloated and self-indulgent movie anyones ever made, and I might get away with it because of the heart attack, he laughs. As for his star-studded cast, which includes Damon and Affleck, plus Chris Hemsworth, Rosario Dawson, Fred Armisen, Craig Robinson, Val Kilmer, Tommy Chong and rappers Method Man and Redman, he jokes that, apart from Affleck, most of them probably showed up out of guilt. Affleck was like: I didnt even know about the heart attack. Smith pauses. I dont know how I feel about that.

Smith doesnt agree with the Joker director Todd Phillips insistence that woke culture has destroyed comedy. I dont feel that way because I always punch in, he says. Jokes that punch down are just boring. But as he is punching in, the tenderest bruise is why he has not tried harder to direct serious comic book movies when he is famous for taking comic books seriously. The other film-makers in his indie clique Tarantino, Rodriguez and Richard Linklater made good-looking movies when they won bigger budgets. Whereas me, I could do cheap, and then people gave me real money and theyre like: It looks cheap.

Every once in a while, I wonder if I should have done better? he says. If you just concentrated on the thing that brought you into the conversation, directing, would you be better now?

The indie wave he helped to inspire has become a tsunami. If I started my career now, you might not hear about me, Smith says. I couldnt break through this noise. To sell tickets to Jay & Silent Bob Reboot, Smith will tour with the film for five months offering audiences a post-screening chat that tends to climax to an inspirational sermon about how if he made it, anyone can. His biography not his films is becoming his legacy.

Maybe Ill just become one with the art where Kevin Smith is no longer an individual, hes just a concept of these series of movies. Until people are like, Who is Kevin Smith? because they dont watch movies any more but thats what the handprints are about.

The weed he has been smoking during the interview has definitely kicked in. Yet he sees his career with clarity.

I dont think Im a film-maker, says Smith. I think Im a salesman. I could sell you Kevin Smith all day. Not a lot of people are buying any more, but enough are where I still get to do this.

Two years ago, he got a call from the man who launched his fame: Weinstein. They hadnt spoken for about 10 years, after falling out over the marketing for their final film together, Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Weinstein suggested they partner on a sequel to Dogma. Smith was thrilled. Hopefully people understand, but getting that call meant the world. I felt like: Oh, he remembered me.

A week later, the first article about Weinsteins sexual assaults broke. All I knew was that he was a philanderer, he cheated on his wife, says Smith. Of course, he realised that Weinstein didnt care about Dogma, or him.

He was circling his wagons, says Smith. I am not a victim here. But I felt used a little bit. Days later, to help the real victims the women whose dreams Weinstein crushed Smith pledged his future residuals from the films Weinstein produced to the non-profit Women in Film.

If youd gone back in time and told that kid: This is all youll do, but it will be connected to a person who does all of this to all these people, I definitely wouldnt have done it, says Smith. I was way too Christian. Smith is no longer religious (Dogma, he claims, revoked his invitation to heaven), but he still seems guided by guilt, obligation and gratitude. Career-wise, I always felt like I was playing on house money, says Smith. Now life-wise, this is just a bonus because it was supposed to end in that emergency room.

To him, his own Clerks catchphrase Im not even supposed to be here today now echoes even louder. Lets be honest, says Smith. Were all insanely lucky to be here. Im just insanely lucky I get to stick around a little longer.

Jay & Silent Bob Reboot is out on 29 November

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Director Kevin Smith on heart attacks, happiness, extreme weight loss and Weinstein - The Guardian

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